


Ardyn, faking being a teenager

by Yandere_Shoujo



Series: FFXV Dreamwidth Prompts [12]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: 2kool4skool Ardyn, Ardyn is really old, Gen, Memes, he's trying his best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 10:10:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10660395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yandere_Shoujo/pseuds/Yandere_Shoujo
Summary: Ardyn's strings for puppeting the Empire stem far, and he adds more into the youth.





	Ardyn, faking being a teenager

**Author's Note:**

> Who am I to say no to such an earnest request?

Immortality had its ups and downs.

The ups; no pain, illness, and Ardyn had bathed himself rather well those two thousand odd years ago so no body odor either. Always fresh, always pristine- because his body would remain in a living stasis forever.

The downs? Coouldn’t grow his hair, couldn’t cut his hair, couldn’t _dye_ his hair and any attempts at straightening it were thwarted by the locks naturally curling back up. A rugged stubble was always handsome, but a new look would have been nice.

A new anything would have been nice.

So there, Ardyn stood in front of a fluorescent lit bathroom mirror. Right, all he had to do was infiltrate the high school, spread some rumors and influence the Nifelheim children’s minds. The children would grow, likely serve the military when older, and would fall suspect to his charms.

Thick bristle brush and hair spray ready, he spritzed as he worked, one arm firing a barrage of small bursts of the hair holder and the other pushing hard against his scalp to form the neatest ponytail he could manage.

His frustratingly perfect curls kept bouncing back each time and he worked and worked until managing to hold everything in place. Quickly he took the thick scrunchie and tied it back. Some shorter curls poked awkwardly from the top of his head and he slapped on the “MEGA KOOL” hat he’d bought from a merchant selling all those trendy odds and ends for the youth. It was a bright red thing, words embroidered in yellow and blue square background.

He’d worn it crooked too!

Those music videos for singers seemed to have the young ladies screaming, so he’d fit right in.

There was little he could do about his facial hair. The thick foundation and powder he’d applied only hid the darker areas of his skin, though his eyes looked about ten years younger. The liquid eye liner held fast on his skin, and he hoped his eyes didn’t look too wide.

The clothing had been the hardest part, asking around shops and claiming he wanted his son to be the absolute most hip kid in the entire establishment.

Ardyn shifted the tight black t-shirt over his chest, buttoned the sleeveless plaid vest over it, and decided to leave the Varsity jacket half zipped. He had no clue how the youths of today managed in the thin jeans.

No wait.

Skinny jeans.

Ardyn’s muscular legs were not built to be contained in such constricting cloth. Unfortunate that the “tripping pants” had faded in the whims of fads long ago, they looked a lot more comfortable to be in. bright green tennis shoes on, he set out.

Oh right.

Ardyn nearly forgot his wrist watch and skating board, though he dared not ride the thing. Finding no real comfortable way of carrying it, he slung it over his shoulder and headed off to the educational facility.

* * *

Saint Yda High was one of the larger public schools of the Empire, and perfect for Ardyn’s infiltration.

Along the way, he’d purchased a pair of nice black sunglasses and he had to admit he looked absolutely full of modern youth’s favorites.

The school featured an abstract statue with double sided benches squaring its perimeter. Ardyn took a seat behind a trio of young men and pretended to speak on his portable telephone.

“Ah, yes. Yes that’s right, Insomniacs considering war with us? That’s absurd. Yes. Yes.” The phone glowed as the MT on the other line buzzed noise as feedback. “Ahaha, is that right my friend? Oh!”

Ardyn turned, feigning surprise at seeing he three now staring at him.

“Pardon me my fellows! You see-” he placed an arm around the bench, smiling as he did so and crossed his legs as best as he could. “My friend here, actually thinks the Insomnian army will make a move against Nifelheim. And-”

He took a second to chuckle, throwing a hand in dismissal.

“And that they would stand a chance. Ha!”

The trio gawked at the bizarre man and they looked among themselves.

“Uh…” one of them tried to speak but wasn’t sure what he was seeing was real or not.

“So guys I think we need to go? Um, Ms. Ines gonna-um, do something.”

The three shuffled quickly from their seats. One of the boys tried to look back but received a slap on the shoulder.

Ah youth, always so busy.

Ardyn loudly continued his one sided conversation earning looks from passing students who walked faster when accidently making eye contact.

Two girls on skateboards had kick flipped into a walk in Ardyn’s line of sight. Ardyn grinned and placed the board at his feet, stepping on it, and shifted from side to side from his seat.

“How do you do, fellow kids?” he called in a friendly greeting, tipping his hat from the side as he did so.

The girls looked to each other eyes wide and giggled, hopping back on their boards and speeding off.

“Ah youth, what I would give to be like them again.” Ardyn sighed. Though he thought he’d done enough for the day.

Now it was time to find a computer and post anonymously on message boards.


End file.
